Real Estate 2023: Galactic Bailout

The Final Chapter of my markets are just “too awful series”…



CNBC Interview Dec 14, 2023:
M. Honey and Anonymous A.

M. Honey:
We are here today with Akram. A who until recently was believed dead. Mr. A has not spoken publicly about his whereabouts over the last year. So, to say the least, this should be a very interesting interview.
Mr. A, thanks for giving us this exclusive interview. Getting right to the point where have you been for the last 12 months?

Mr. A:
Well, Mrs. Honey, as you know about a year ago I went to the Moon for a routine site visit. We were having some problems with our Moon development that I had to tend to in person. While I was on the Moon I was approached by a member of the Inter Galactic Financial Union (IGFU). At first, I thought it was a hoax, but after they showed me their ship I knew these people were legit.

M. Honey:
Inter Galactic Financial Union, people?? A ship? Are you saying what I think you are saying?

Mr. A:
Yes, Aliens. But we are not talking about little green men. These are people just like you and me. They look like humans. They just live on planets in different galaxies. It turns out that the IGFU is very much like our United Nations, except that all the respective members are planets. They have been monitoring the Earth's development for quite some time and actually reviewing a pending planetary application for IGFU membership for the last 200 years.

M. Honey:
Monitoring? 200 years? Wow, are you being serious?

Mr. A:
Completely serious Mrs. Honey. See, the IGFU has specific criteria for member planets. The Union is monetary, economic, and political. If you do not meet the criteria you cannot be admitted. Much to the dismay of the IGFU, Earth has struggled to progress. As I understand it, our biggest flaw is our propensity to create asset bubbles which destabilize our planetary economy. This is not unusual as every planet goes through this phase of bubble cycles(IGFU economists call it the “infancy stage”), but to enter the union a planet must finally realize that bubbles are inherently destructive. The Earth's failure to progress past the bubble stage in a reasonable time frame has perplexed most IGFU economists. In fact, they even have broken from protocol over the past fifty years by placing economists on Earth to warn about the risk of bubbles.

M. Honey:
Really? Anyone we know?

Mr. A:
My understanding is that men like M Faber and N Roubini have been greatly influenced by IGFU economists. I can't really get into the details, but there has clearly been some level of subconscious interaction between IGFU economists and economists on our planet who were deemed capable of delivering the appropriate message.

M. Honey
Fascinating. What about investors like W Buffet?

Mr. A:
Ahh, funny you should ask. I asked them the same question. It turns out Mr. Buffet is as legit as they come. He is actually quite a celebrity in the Galactic Financial Markets. So much so, that at least 7 planets have approached him over the past 50 years with offers of citizenship. They tried to lure him to planets where value investing and sound buy and hold strategies are employed on a consistent basis, but he turned them all down. It seems Mr. Buffet just couldn't abandon his loyal shareholders even if it meant going to a world without bubbles and dangerous derivatives.

M. Honey:
Sorry to interrupt Mr. A, but what do they want from us and why did they approach you?

Mr. A:
Well, after Obama was elected President of the U.S. the IGFU political committee cleared Earth's application. And then when we went back to the gold standard in 2010 the IGFU Monetary Committee also signed off on our application. So, we are 2/3 of the way there. All we need is the approval of the Economic/Financial Markets Committee. However, they are pretty strict, and thus won't let us into the union until they are sure that we won't pose a bubble threat to the Galactic economy.

M. Honey:
So gold really is a global store of value?

Mr. A:
Actually, a galactic store of value would be more appropriate.

M. Honey:
Right. Interesting stuff.

Mr. A:
Yes, very. And that is why they approached me. The path the Earth has taken over the last 3 years has troubled several member planets. They feel we are regressing. So, they have decided to take extreme action and alter the application process. Earth will be granted temporary IGFU member status. In return, we will allow the Central Bubble Watchdog Agency (cbwa) to take over all of Earth's financial market regulatory oversight for a period to not exceed 500 years. The IGFU has also agreed to recapitalize Earth's financial system by injecting significant gold reserves into the planet.

M. Honey:
500 years? Seems a bit strict.

Mr. A:
Well, if you read their auditor's report on Earth's Central Banks and Regulatory Agencies you'd understand.

M. Honey:
So, they are really willing to recapitalize our financial system?

Mr. A:
Yes. And it gets better. The Intergalactic Food Bank is immediately going to remit 500 billion tons of food to earth as payment for past services received.

M. Honey:
Past services received?

Mr. A:
It turns out that Reality TV and Earth Football are very popular in the rest of the Galaxy, and since IGFU members take intellectual property rights very seriously; they have been maintaining an account that tracks all Galactic usage of Earth IP. With accrued interest the account is now worth over 29 trillion ounces of gold.

M. Honey:
Are you serious?

Mr. A:
Amazing isn't it. We are actually one of the wealthiest planets in the Galaxy and we never even knew it.

(NOTE: The characters and content of this postl are purely fictional, although in some instances they may refer or represent people or places that have influenced the author in some way. Any resemblance to actual person or places, living or otherwise is purely coincidental.)