Dubai Real Estate 2022: A Mogul Speaks(repost)

As requested i have posted my real estate spoof/story from last november...enjoy...

Dec 14, 2022-
Transcript from CNBC Interview with Real Estate Mogul Mr. Himadeh.

Interviewer:
We are here today with Mr. Himadeh of Himadeh Holdings who has been kind enough to join us in discussing the current property boom in Dubai. For those of you who are not familiar with Mr. Himadeh, he controls a global conglomerate with holdings in real estate, public equities, government equities, and a wide assortment of other assets.

Interviewer:
Mr. Himadeh you are famous for having called the top in the Dubai Property Bubble of 2003-2008 at a very young age. How did you do it?

Mr. H:
Real estate is really about the cost of capital. I try to buy when it’s high and sell when it’s low. Really it is not that complicated. I just try to anticipate what the cost of money will be. In 2008, I got the sense that eibor, which had been as low as about 1.9% if my memory serves me right, was going to be going much higher over the next 18-24 months.

Interviewer:
Sorry to interrupt you Mr. Himadeh…but in EIBOR…you are referring to the now defunct emirates interbank offer rate which was replaced with GIBOR in early 2010. Some of our listeners may not remember those days.

Mr. H:
Yes, exactly. Wow…am I feeling old. Anyway, since I thought Eibor was going much higher I started to synthetically short the real estate market. It wasn’t easy, but I found ways to do it.
And the rest as they say is history.

Interviewer:
How did you feel about getting knick-named the Dubai Demon or Destroyer?

Mr. H:
Look, it wasn’t pleasant, but it never is pleasant going against the crowd. The reward was worth it.

Interviewer:
Most people don’t realize it but the vast majority of your fortune was made going long real estate in the GCC. Particularly in Dubai.

Mr. H:
Yes, that is true. We were very opportunistic in 2009-2012 building a top notch portfolio of distressed assets. And it has paid off.

Interviewer:
What about your foray into government equities? Is it true you own 35% of the Ukraine? And 15% of Canada?

Mr. H:
Well, for disclosure reasons I can’t specifically comment on the size my government stakes. But yes we did participate once the governments of the world decided to incorporate and list themselves on exchanges to raise cash, and we have done very well getting into Canada as we did feel that potential alternative energy solutions and oil supply globally were over stated.

Interviewer:
Well, enough about the past. Care to comment on your new big venture the “Dubai FLOATS” the World’s first floating resort. Many people are saying this is a sign of a bubble and that it can’t be built.

Mr. H:
They said that about the Burj, they mocked the Palm, and then when we backed the govt in building an underwater luxury hotel; everybody said we’d lose our shirts. Then three years ago we finished the world’s only freestanding revolving residential tower. Every one of these projects has made me money, so I tell the naysayers…bring it on.

Interviewer:
On a more controversial note would you care to comment on your former friend, Anonymous A’s, “Moon Magic” development? There are rumors circulating that you have used your votes in the U.N.L.E (United Nations Legal Exchange) to block his group’s moon building permit, as you were jealous that he would beat you to the moon.

Mr. H:
That’s ludicrous. We were originally funding part of his project, but because Mr. A is stubborn; we decided to part ways. The moon is a waste of time. There is plenty of land on earth that still needs to be developed. For example, our Antarctica Polar Park project is selling very well right now.

Interviewer:
That’s not what we have heard. According to certain sources, you pulled the plug on his financing after he declined to name the iconic Dubai Moon Tower Rockopalooza 7 as he felt that the Rockopalooza chain had become oversaturated and too commercial.

Mr. H:
I am sick of this topic. If you want answers why don’t you ask him? I came here to talk about Himadeh holdings and all the exciting real projects we are working on and not about some crazy man who has sunk everything he owns and leveraged himself to the hilt buying small natural islands and moon property.

Interviewer:
Well, we would but after you pulled the financing on the moon project Mr. A, who was already very levered, started getting massive margin calls. And then on a routine site visit to the moon last week he mysteriously disappeared.

Mr. H:
Really? Kind of sad. He used to know what he was talking about, but he lost his edge a few years ago and became obsessed with this whole earth’s core is unstable and about to implode theory. (Sounds of explosion in the background)Hey, what’s going on?

We interrupt this broadcast for an emergency message. Apparently the world has been hit by a wave of unprecedented seismic activity. Millions of people have died, and large portions of the planet have become uninhabitable. Certain well situated property developments remained strangely unharmed and moon real estate prices have supposedly climbed through the roof as world governments have begun bidding for assets. Interestingly, almost all of these holdings are now controlled by the now missing investing guru/recluse Anonymous A. who increasingly was being mocked by the main stream media for his odd real estate purchases on earth and obsession with moon property.

(NOTE:The characters and content of this post are purely fictional, although in some instances they may refer or represent people or places that have influenced the author in some way. Any resemblance to actual person or places, living or otherwise is purely coincidental.)